Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT




If you are in a relationship with someone, Valentine’s Day is a good opportunity to consider the state of your relationship. Is it healthy and thriving? Or does it need a booster shot? Maybe you don’t have a lot of time or energy to devote to a grand celebration, but you certainly have a moment or two to spend on recognizing that special someone. Dr. Eli Finkel, author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, offers a few shortcuts that he calls lovehacks. A lovehack is a quick and simple practice that can help change the way you think about your partner. Remember how you think about your partner affects how you treat your partner; it affects how you feel about your partner.

I invite you to try some of the lovehacks Finkel recommends. It could be the beginning of experiencing more of what you want in your relationship. Taking action is an important step that displays commitment and a belief in the value of that relationship. You will benefit as much as your partner benefits from your actions.

  1. Practice gratitude. When you feel grateful for your partner, you feel gratitude for your relationship. Gratitude contributes to feelings of being more committed to each other and to the relationship.
  2. Celebrate your partner. Be enthusiastic in your reactions to a partner’s good news. Research shows that when that happens, each partner took more pleasure from their own victories. And both partners ended up feeling closer to each other. Basically, it’s best to share the joy as well as the sorrows.
  3. Touch. Physical touch encourages trust and a sense of security. It also elicits a feeling of being loved.
  4. Play together. Strengthen a relationship with fun activities. Studies found that sharing in playful, exciting activities create a happier relationship. Other studies encourage shaking things up by trying out different sexual behaviors with your partner. Passion is good for a relationship.
  5. Respond to each other. Be mindful and patient with your partner. Seek to understand your partner’s needs and desires. Acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses. Practice acceptance.

Remember that you create with every thought. So, what are you thinking about your relationship? What are you thinking about your loved one? Wayne Dyer says, “Try to always remember that you carry every relationship around with you in your head. Robert Frost reminded us, “We love the things we love for what they are.” When you forget this and process other people on the basis of what you think they should be, or what they used to be, or how they compare to what you are, then you’ve sent love away, and in your mind, the relationship has soured. You experience every thing and every one in your thoughts.”

When you consciously choose your thoughts, you control the power of creation. Choose Your Thoughts. Choose Your Life.

#choice #relationships #lovehacks #love #valentinesday