When we try new things or do something that is outside of our comfort zone, we often feel fearful. Sometimes it helps to understand the fear, when the feeling that creates it is given a name. In 1978, two American psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, gave it a name: the impostor syndrome. This feeling is described as a feeling of “phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” These people “live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds.” After receiving an Academy Award for her work in the movie, “Fences”, Viola Davis admitted that she suffers from this syndrome. Like many of us, she is telling herself a story based on her beliefs; she is creating her own version of reality, despite evidence to the contrary.
Why would we feel this way? When we have a skill or talent that comes easily, we tend to discount its value. We don’t want to be conceited or boastful. There may be a natural sense of humility about what we do. When we are comfortable doing what we do well, it doesn’t feel like we are doing anything special or noteworthy. We don’t recognize our natural gifts. We don’t recognize that we have unique skills and talents that support our life’s journey. We don’t recognize all that we are. We are not comfortable with our magnificence. That can be okay, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to believe that we can’t do anything that is outside of our comfort zone. We don’t want to paralyze ourselves with fear, as we imagine all the ways that we will fail when we try something new. There is no need to limit our life experience based on false beliefs about our abilities. We can expand our comfort zone.
On some level, we all suffer from imposter syndrome. We tell ourselves stories about what we can and can not do. We evaluate how well we do things or how badly we fail. We decide what is possible. We create our own version of reality. When you examine your feelings of comfort and discomfort, it is important to understand that you are imagining…making up a story about who you are. In this examination, you can come to a place of acceptance of all that you are.
How do we learn to live with this imposter syndrome? In her book “Radical Acceptance,” Tara Brach shared a story about Buddha and the demon Mara. “One day, Buddha was teaching a large group, and Mara was moving around the edges, looking for a way into the group. I envision Mara rushing frantically back and forth in the bushes and trees, making plans to wreak havoc. One of Buddha’s attendants saw Mara, ran to Buddha and warned him of Mara’s presence. Hearing his attendant’s frantic warning, the Buddha simply replied, “Oh good, invite her in for tea.”
When your demons of self-doubt are threatening your inner peace and acceptance of yourself, invite them in. The more you know of them, the better you can accept them as a part of you. You get real with yourself.