Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT




You may not be a mother, but you had a mother. Maybe you had more than one “mother” in your life. Sometimes a grandmother or an aunt or a dear friend serves as a mother to us. Mothers are so important to our life and our society that we have an official day to honor Mothers. Of course, if the job is done right, the child will honor the mother every day.

Mother is our first teacher. Of course, father is very important, but mother is more of an influence. She’s the one that programs you to begin to be who you are. Her story is part of your story. She can only teach you what she knows and what she believes. Her story is part of her mother’s story and so on and so on throughout eternity. All experiences, beliefs, truths come through your ancestral and cultural heritage. The good stuff. The bad stuff. Fears. Courage. Doubts. Confidence. Body image. Guilt and shame. Financial success. Poverty. All of it.

A mother teaches love how she knows love. What she believes to be love. Maybe she teaches conditional love. Love that is only expressed when a child behaves or performs in a manner that she deems worthy. Maybe she teaches that a child is unworthy of love – not good enough. Maybe she teaches that no one will love like she does. Maybe mother smothers.

As an authority figure, no one has the power of mother. Author and psychologist Nora K. Jemisin said, In a child’s eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe.” Not all of us get the “glorious and benevolent” mother. Some of us get the “terrible” mother who is “filled with wrath”. Whoever and whatever mother is, the child loves. It can be very confusing. The child can learn about destructive, manipulative behavior that masquerades as love. The story is repeated from generation to generation until someone learns how to stop the pattern.

A mother teaches her children how to have a relationship; how to be treated. She teaches by example. She may be a great example. Or maybe not. A child doesn’t know anything but what is taught. It’s not until a child becomes an adult that the example is shown to be a gift or a burden. The programming has been completed. Belief systems have been installed.

A belief is a thought we have over and over again. It may not be based on truth or evidence, but only based on repetition. If we truly believe something, we don’t need proof of any kind. If we don’t believe, there is no amount of proof that is possible to convince us otherwise. When we are young, we don’t really have a choice about what we believe. We are told who we are and begin to tell our story based on what we believe.

If your mother’s beliefs are no longer serving you in your life, maybe its time to let that story go. There is no need to repeat a story that you are worthless or damaged or a victim. It is possible to change your beliefs and release your limitations through the power of your mind and the power of your thoughts. If you choose a different thought, your beliefs will begin to change. You have the power in the moment to make that choice. One thought at a time.


#beliefs #mother #love