Our society tells us that on February 14th, it is Valentine’s Day. We are programmed to celebrate “love” on this day. In order to do that, we are told that a man must acknowledge this day and present his woman with the appropriate gift…flowers, candy or even diamonds. We are told that a woman must prepare a romantic dinner, dress provocatively and offer sexual favors. We are also programmed to believe that anyone without a partner is not worthy of celebrating this made-up holiday. Who told us this? This holiday is a holiday promoted by greeting card companies, candy makers, flower growers and diamond merchants. It has nothing to do with love. A card manufacturer recently published an anti-Valentine card for a “Happy Capitalistic Couple’s Day.”
In the 1840s, an American newspaper called The Public Ledger endorsed the holiday saying that people needed “more soul-play and less head-work” and more opportunities that allowed for an “abandon of feeling.” I like that concept. Sometime along the way, something emerged called “Valentine Week”. Starting on February 7 the days are: Rose Day, Propose Day, Chocolate Day, Teddy Day, Promise Day, Hug Day and Kiss Day. I think the concept has been lost.
Since you have been programmed to think about love on Valentine’s Day, I’d like you to consider this: “I love and accept myself as I am.” Say that. Read it aloud. Say it again. How does it feel to you? Does it feel true? The thought may bring a smile to your face or a warmness to your heart. You may even sigh. Say it again. Does it feel untrue…like you are lying to yourself? Just thinking about love and acceptance may make you feel uncomfortable or anxious.
You may think you love yourself but that love may be conditional. You may not accept yourself. You may think you are too fat. You will love yourself when you are thin. You may believe that you are unworthy. You will love yourself when others tell you that you are worthy. You may criticize yourself for mistakes you’ve made. You will love yourself when you do everything right. You may compare yourself to others and find that you are lacking. You may tell yourself that others are more attractive, more intelligent, and more successful. You will love yourself when you are perfect and better than anyone you know. Consider the conditions you have placed on yourself. Whenever you engage in negative self-talk, you are not loving yourself. You are not accepting yourself as you are right now.
It may be 2018, but we could learn from the 1840’s wisdom about needing “more soul-play and less head-work.” As soul, we can let go of the head-work of the ego when we clear the monkey-mind. We can release the thoughts that cause negative emotions. We can choose to go within where we are able to connect with and accept our true value… without the ego’s judgment…without the outside programming.
When we are able to observe the ego from a soul’s perspective, we are able to be more loving to our self. We are able to be more accepting and compassionate with our self. Consider your soul as the all-loving, all-knowing parent/guide to your ego. And now consider your ego as a fragile and innocent child in need of your unconditional love. “I love and accept myself as I am.” Say it again. Does it feel better?
Now, go celebrate loving and accepting yourself. It’s a holiday worth celebrating every single day of your life.