Thanksgiving. When you use the word as a noun (something you name), you recognize it as a holiday. But when you consider the word as a verb (something you do), it makes a difference in your understanding of its true meaning – the act of giving thanks and feeling gratitude. I know each one of us can run off a list of all the things we are thankful for at this time of year. We think of family and friends. We think of financial abundance. We think of our health and physical well-being. And often we are thankful for experiences that make us happy. Sometimes we are surprised by what brings gratitude to mind.
This year, I’m very grateful to know Little Joe Cartwright. You see, he’s a longtime family friend. When I was very young, the Cartwrights were weekly visitors in our home. We were one of the first families to enjoy the luxury of a color television. Dad was always into gadgets and technology and liked to have the best and newest available. It was very exciting to see the NBC peacock turn from black & white to all the colors of the rainbow! Unfortunately, there were only two shows broadcast in color at that time – The Mitch Miller Show and Bonanza. Of course Bonanza was far superior because there were mountains and horses and gunfights!
Recently, Little Joe and all the Cartwright men helped me to communicate with my 92-year-old mother. Besides suffering from dementia and extreme physical limitations, Mom has some communication issues. She has endured countless strokes, the last of which severely diminished her throat muscles, impeding her ability to speak. Although she is able to communicate her likes, dislikes and needs, she’s no longer able to form words. She is only able to make a guttural sound. However, make no mistake, she is totally aware and “in there”.
When arriving for a visit, I found her sitting with another resident waiting for lunch to be served. A television set was on but she wasn’t paying attention to it. I greeted her and chatted for a moment. And then I was pleased to see the opening credits to Bonanza were coming on the screen. I pointed it out to her and she immediately turned her attention to the TV. As the flames burned across the map of the Ponderosa, her eyes lit up in recognition and a smile crossed her face. Then Little Joe came on and the conversation began. We were in the moment together.
As we watched the show unfolding, I saw her slip into a comfortable place where memory brings the feelings of the past into the present. Once upon a time when she watched Bonanza in the comfort of her home, she was a young and able woman raising a family. She had a husband who adored her and all the material pleasures she desired. I noticed her frail body shift as she sat up taller in her chair. I spoke and she acknowledged all the members of the Cartwright family; Pa, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe. It felt like visiting with the cousins. In those moments, we connected on a level that – given the circumstances – is not easy to achieve any more. And in that connection, we were no longer a mother and daughter separated by distance and sad circumstances. We were two souls enjoying our eternal connection and accepting all as it is.
A TV show was the common thread that wove our lives back together in that moment. As you celebrate this time of Thanksgiving, look for the little ways – the Little Joes – that bring gratitude to your heart. And then enjoy that feeling as you move from noun to verb…as you actively give thanks…the true purpose of the holiday. Do something about thanks giving.