To live in the hearts we leave behind is to live forever.
A few weeks ago, I lost one of my dearest friends and most trusted advisors. His death was sudden and very unexpected. A reminder that there is a thin veil between life and death; a moment of being “here” and then being “gone”.
My friend would not want me to suffer his loss. Oh yes, he would expect me to cry and mourn his passing. But he would also expect me to know that he is well; that he is at peace; that he has gone home. My tears are not for him. They are for me.
I threw myself a pity party and allowed myself to wallow in my grief and sadness. I realized that every time I felt my loss, I also felt my joy. In order for me to feel this loss, I also had to feel the love that created it. And in feeling the love, I was healed of the sadness.
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ” ~Kahlil Gibran
Mark was my “empathologist”. A reference from a silly Woody Allen movie, it became the way he was listed in my phone book. We enjoyed amusing each other with the silly as well as the profound. The thesaurus lists “empathize” as “the ability to identify with, sympathize with, understand, share the feelings of, be in tune with; be on the same wavelength as, talk the same language as; relate to, feel for, have insight into.” Wow, I was lucky to have him! And I realize that I still “have” him. Whenever I think of him, he is with me. For every inhale of “what shall I do without him?” there is a sigh of “you will do”. I take strength in all that I learned from him. He was very generous with his wisdom and I plan to honor him by becoming the best “empathologist” I can be.
“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” Albert Pike
Each life is a precious gift. Take the time to celebrate your life and your loved ones.