Patricia Lynn Belkowitz, M.Msc., C.Ht., EFT

 

missed

 

We all make mistakes. It’s the way we learn. We try. We fail. We try again. Each time we do better because we know better. There is no need to regret your mistakes! Mistakes are not only tolerable, but are actually desirable. Einstein says, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

I’m sure that you can recall a time when you made a mistake… a mistake that taught you something. Even though it may have been unpleasant, you learned something from the mistake. I want you to begin to appreciate the fact that without having made mistakes like that, you would have never learned and progressed. We learn more from doing things wrong than from doing things right. Mistakes have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are immediate. Other times, the consequences may take years to surface.

Your imperfect mistakes have been perfect opportunities for a wealth of learnings; an indispensable foundation to build on. So don’t be mistaken about mistakes; the more unpleasant it is, the more beneficial the lesson will be. Paulo Coelho says, You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

In order to turn your mistakes into lessons, it’s good to consider a few things. You need to consider the story you are telling yourself about the mistake. What role are you playing? Perpetrator? Victim? Hero?

 

This is what happened. Allow yourself to look at what occurred. Become an outside observer. Consider the factors leading up to the mistake. Consider what you believe happened. Consider the beliefs of others.


This is what I did.
Consider your actions and why you thought it was the right action at the time. Or maybe you knew it wasn’t the right action and you did it anyway. Consider why. Did you act consciously and mindfully? Did negative emotions affect your actions? Accept responsibility for your actions.


This has been the cost.
Consider the negative consequences of your actions. How were you affected? How were others affected? Was the cost too much to pay? Accept responsibility for the cost.


This is what I learned.
Consider your thoughts, beliefs and actions.  Understand why you did what you did. Look for the positive consequences of your new perspective. Accept yourself.


This is what I could do differently in the future.
Consider other choices you could have made. Consider the beliefs that led up to the choice that led to a mistake. Acknowledge your ability to respond in different ways and to make better choices in similar circumstances.

 

I’d like you to consider the benefit of having the courage to be imperfect. Human beings are not perfect. It really is all right to be human… and to make some mistakes…so that you can learn and grow. Make amazing mistakes, fantastic and interesting mistakes. Just do the best you can do.