A wise and practical man once told me that it was essential in life to identify your “needs” and distinguish them from your “wants”. His advice was related to financial planning, dedication to saving and “paying yourself first”. This is also good advice regarding your relationships, your career and many other aspects of your life. We all have to identify what it is we “need” to do. And we all owe it to ourselves to figure out what it is we really “want” to do. Once we know, we can then align the two.
A need is something we require. It is necessary. We have to have it. It is essential. A want is something we desire. It is a wish, a longing. If a want is strong enough it becomes a need. And if a need is strong enough it becomes a want.
Do you have wants that are unfilled? Do you have needs that are unmet? Remember, there are no limitations, there is only limited thinking. Anthon St. Marrten tells us, “Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass – to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.”
So, what do you do? You decide. You make choices.
Consider this: You have a great desire to write a book. You really want to tell your story. But…you tell yourself that it’s not possible. You need to put your dream on hold. Do you? Really? I don’t think so! I think what you need to do is to make some changes in the way things are. You need to wake a few hours earlier or stay awake a few hours longer. You need to find time by making different choices in how you spend your day. You need to allow yourself the opportunity to write. That is….if you really, really want it.
If your wear size 14 jeans and you want to wear a size 4, you need to make different choices about what you eat and how you move your body. If you do what you need, you get what you want. You are aligned with success. If you want a loving relationship in your life, you need to be loveable and make yourself available to meet someone. If you want to experience a dream vacation, you need to make a plan about where and when to go and how to pay for it. If you don’t take steps to fulfill your desires, who will? You must go after your wishes.
I write this as I sit aboard my boat enjoying the harbor view. After more than 23 years, I consider this to be one of my wishes that was strong enough to become a need. It’s a way of paying myself. The currency of peace and solitude is priceless to me. We named her “Necessity” because she is. Even though there have been years when any sane person would have acknowledged that keeping the boat is a luxury, I know better. I know me. I know what makes my heart happy. Because I know my wants and my needs better than anyone else. And so do you!